There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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