she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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