It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
