walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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