she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm really busy with my period
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