Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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