Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
