would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
