i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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