I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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