My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A+ Viking dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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