it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize