I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
