oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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