fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize