cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
