So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize