I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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