its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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