were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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