me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
