so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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