And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
