Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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