I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
