watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't think brook has ever known best
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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