Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
