I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She told me I should be a condom model.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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