You're completely useless in the revolution.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
