I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
