So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
