The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
