Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
