I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
