GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
