But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
