i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
