I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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