I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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