And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
