everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
