white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
