Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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