So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
