Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
