I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
