Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
