You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize