who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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