What did we do last night that was yellow?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
