I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize