Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
