8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
