god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
