Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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