How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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