he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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