so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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