Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So vagazzling was a success
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
