Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
