We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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