Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
did i just pee glitter
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
