I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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